Christmas: A Time of Reflection

It has been nearly a year and a half since my mother's death, but one thing I am for sure, she is in a better place.  What I have to say here is something of a testimonial, not to me, but to her and her strength during the time of her terminal illness.  At the same time, everything that my mother went through during her life has been one of true ups and downs.


As you know me already, my mother was born into a Conservative Jewish family.  So, for 79 years of her life, she was a devout Jewish mother, wife and great grandmother.  She loved her faith and she undoubtedly loved God as well.  She trusted that He would be there every step of her life and He was.  We know that God sends a lot of "curveballs" our way (believe you and me, I am one to testify to this), but they are for a reason.  He wants to see how we are going to handle them as He throws them.  He is a great pitcher, trust me.  I want Him and know that I have Him on my team.

My mother loved children and she spent most of her career working with them as an elementary school teacher, as the owner of a daycare center in Brookhaven in Dekalb County, Georgia and as a mother and a great grandmother. 

Growing up, I can remember all of the great times that I had with my mother.  I remember the great dresses that she wore at our Bar Mitzvah's and with four sons, she had to have many dresses.  Not only did she have beautiful dresses and many hats to go with them, she had the shoes to boot (no pun intended).  She also had that great dress that she wore to my brother Jeff's wedding as well.  At each of the Bar Mitzvah's and the weddings that she attended, she always found a way to look her best and to make sure that she kept the weight off.

Speaking of the dresses for different occasions, I remember the time that my mother and I went shopping for her dress for my wedding.  We went to a store that I knew she would have no trouble finding one.  What was funny was that as soon as I walked in the store with her, we both eyed one on the far wall and it was a beautiful blue sparkly type of dress.  It turned out that we both had the same taste in color, so that was the one that we got her.

Anyway, not to write a book here, this is not the purpose of the post.  What is interesting is that I remember sitting with her not too long ago and watching a movie called, The Christmas Shoes, with her.  She enjoyed the movie as much as I did as it was not only sad, but it was happy at the same time.  It was about a young boy who discovered that his mother was dying from a lung ailment and there was nothing much, if anything that the doctors could do for her.  Nearing the time of her death was also during the Christmas season.  Knowing that his mother was dying, he wanted desperately to buy her a pair of Christmas shoes in a local store.  He had money, but it was just not enough.  He found the shoes and while he was in line, he put all of the money on the counter, but the cashier would not budge when he came up short.  He would not let the young boy buy the shoes.

As time was coming close to closing the store, a man behind him how was played by actor Rob Lowe, knew that the young boy was desperate to get the shoes and he eventually gave him the money to get them.  See, the character that Rob Lowe played in the movie was a man who spent more time concerned about his work then the time he should have been spending with his family.  Seeing and hearing about the boys dilemma really made his choices better in life.

The boy ran home and placed the red Christmas shoes on his mother's feet as she lie dying in her bed.  She smiled and the young boy stayed by his mother's side until her passing.  The movie was made for television after the same name of a song called The Christmas Shoes.  In the song, there is a verse that goes something like:  "When My Mother Meets Jesus tonight..."  That did it for me when I heard the song.  I cried.  I still cry today when I hear the song played at Christmas time.

What makes this song and the verse mentioned above so special is something that happened when my mother lie dying in her hospice room bed.  She was mostly in transition and it was a Friday afternoon, believe it or not, after my father-in-law Billy's funeral.  My mother and my father-in-law passed away nine days apart.

Anyway, during the funeral service for Billy, my cell phone was on vibrate and I just knew that it had to be the hospice facility where my mother was waiting for her time to come.  It was, but it was the pastor who was visiting her room and he was trying to get me.  A few minutes later when I heard the message, I called him as I got in my car to go the grave side for Billy's graveside service.  The pastor asked me if I was coming by the facility and I told him I was, but after the funeral service for my father-in-law.

That afternoon, I went to the hospice facility and I met with the pastor.  He went into my mother's room earlier and spent time with her.  I told him about my conversion, but that my mother was still Jewish.  He still asked if it would be alright if we prayed with her.  I said, "absolutely."

So, we went into her room, both of us went to our knees and held hands and he prayed.  He ended the prayer with "Thank you Jesus," and I repeated it.  Then the both of us turned and looked at one another as we heard my mother mumble the same words.  I smiled and cried at the same time.

Now, what is the meaning of this?  Only God, Jesus Christ and my mother know.  I believe that on her dying bed, she accepted the Lord with just those words.  Some may not think so, but again, it is up to God and Jesus Christ if this is the case.  I believe that she is in heaven and that she is in a much better place, free from hurt and free from pain.

Merry Christmas, mom, I miss you and love you very much.  That goes for my father, Robert, my brother Jeff and my father-in-law, Billy Phillips.  I do not know any other way at this Christmas season to say that I love you all!

David M. Brown
December 2, 2010
11:00 p.m.